Going through a divorce is a major change in a person’s life. It often comes with significant emotional trauma because of the circumstances that led to the end of the marriage. While some adults can simply walk away and never have to deal with each other again, those who share children can’t do that.
Parents in this position should ensure they have guidelines set for communication. This should always remain focused on the children and be as calm as possible. One thing that should never happen is the parents using the children as messengers.
Children may misconstrue messages
Messages are always best relayed directly between parents. When children have to relay messages, they may not pass them along properly. This could lead to misunderstandings between the parents.
Children may feel they have to choose sides
Children may feel as though they have to choose between their parents when they have to pass messages along. This may occur because of the reactions of the parents as they give their parents the messages.
Children may get stressed because of the duty
Having to pass messages between parents can seem like a major duty to children. This can cause them considerable stress, but that can be avoided by not having them act as mini messengers.
It’s critical that you set the parenting plan in a way that makes the guidelines for communication clear. Getting the terms in this document set up so they reflect the best wishes of the children is important. It may be beneficial to work with someone familiar with the situation to make setting the terms of the plan easier.