Family, Criminal & Children's Court Attorneys Since 1991

Helping children when your ex is a narcissist

On Behalf of | Jun 26, 2024 | Custody and Parenting Time |

Going through a divorce with a narcissist is particularly difficult, but the challenges are even greater when you share children. One thing that’s often hard for the kids is that they may not understand certain facets of the new way of life.

At their core, a narcissist is self-absorbed and only focuses on what they need and want. This means that they likely won’t consider what’s best for the children when they’re making decisions or demands. This can sometimes have a negative impact on the children. Helping them through this situation can be challenging, but it can make it easier for them to thrive.

Provide consistency

Consistency is important for children as they grow. They may not get it when they’re with your ex, so try to be as consistent as possible for them. This can mean things like maintaining a set bedtime or having consistent rules and consequences. Each time they come back from time with their other parent, you may have to remind them of how things work at your home. Be sure you do that in a calm and loving manner.

Reassure them 

Your ex may be so self-centered that they never praise or reassure the children. Focus on telling them when they’re doing a good job. Find ways to reassure them that they’re important, but you must do this without speaking negatively of your ex. 

Another critical point in these cases is to have a solid parenting plan that clearly outlines as much as possible regarding the children. Narcissists will try to exploit any loopholes they can find, so having someone on your side who can help ensure everything is set up properly in the parenting plan can benefit you and your children.